She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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