so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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