Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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