Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
