just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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