Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
