Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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