I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
