Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
