Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We were destined to go to rehab together
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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