thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
