He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
