Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
