Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
