Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
