Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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