what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
