shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
