did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
