they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
