You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
