She said her name was "party"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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