well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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