Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
