it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
