We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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