Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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