How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
