we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
