please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
