there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize