But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
