Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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