im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
