do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
