He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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