mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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