Whats the glycemic index on semen?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
