69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
