I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
