Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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