I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
