i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
