i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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