Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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