i just made my gag reflex go away.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
