Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
