We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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