I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Every concussion has its silver lining
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
