If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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