these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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