I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
