we have pet lesbian snakes
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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