so explain again why im purple
no
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
