all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
