Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
