Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
